Why Do People Hate Themselves?

Why do people hate themselves? People usually hate themselves at one time or another in their life. They usually have this feeling when they do something that does not agree with their principles or beliefs. Hate in this case is a reflection of the dislike for the unpleasant deed. A person learns to forgive himself and the dislike decreases in intensity as time goes by.

But how about a person who hates himself or herself to the point that they start to hurt their bodies? This condition is a type of mental disorder and must be treated as soon as possible. What would make a person hate himself that much? People don’t get this way overnight. We usually have a healthy tolerance for our foibles, but if you are being fed with hateful or critical words about you or your actions it inevitably comes to a point where you start believing them and self hate grows. This could be the case if you had abusive parents.

People who hate themselves are typically portrayed in films as people who do not keep up good grooming habits or who layer on clothes as if they want to get buried in them. They seem to be afraid of people who look at them, perhaps afraid that these people will see what they hate about themselves, and use it against them. On the other hand you can look at very glamorous people who seem to have everything, yet deep inside they hate themselves with a passion. Why do people hate themselves at all? Hate is such a strong word. It denotes that something is so wrong about and that you’d rather be someone other than who you are.

When a person doesn’t have a healthy opinion of themselves it is easy to find things to dislike. Unfortunately, this kind of thinking starts in childhood. A person may have grown up being conditioned by negative feedback. Inevitably, the person believes it and then grows up not having enough faith or self-esteem to process things in a healthy manner.

Expectations of other people about us, especially admonitions to behave by a certain set of manners and achievements are fodder for self hate, especially when these expectations are not met. The person may feel that since he failed, there is no reason for people to like him. If this unhealthy attitude continues and if the person does not have an existing support system to help him process these thoughts, then self hate will ultimately manifest into a mental problem.

Counseling is a step towards treating the person in this situation. There needs to be someone who understands or is willing to listen and console the person who hates himself. There is always an underlying reason why a person cannot accept what or how he is. But trying to find out the basic reason why do people hate themselves will certainly help the person involved.

Posted at January 7th, 2012.

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