Why Do People Break Up?
In terms of relationships, a breakup is the termination of an intimate relationship for any reason other than death. This post will begin to explain some of the reasons as to why people end relationships. There are many reasons that can cause a person to break up with other individuals, and the necessity of their actions changes in accordance with these reasons.
Often, relationships may involve the distortion of the truth in which failed relationships may result in lying—either intentionally or to end things nicely. Whatever the reason, sometimes it is OK to just leave and move on and someone else will come along who will suit you. The underlying cause behind every relationship breakdown is a loss of attraction, and sometimes, people do not actually know why it happened. It also often happens slowly as a result of several things.
- Being “needy” or “clingy”
- Being too controlling or jealous
- Boredom and complacency
Reason One: Being “Needy” or “Clingy”
This is a very common trait that many people exhibit in a relationship. While your partner may seem to think it’s “cute,” it is actually one of the biggest relationship killers. Yes, as weird as it sounds, studies have shown that being that “clingy” girlfriend or boyfriend is actually a massive, massive turn off. Human beings need a challenge. When something becomes “too easy,” it is human nature to just pick up and get going, and this sort of survival mechanism is our way of saying, “find a new challenge, I’m bored!”
People also hate feeling “tied down” and get easily frustrated when someone is constantly pestering them or requiring their attention. This toxic trait doesn’t just happen to women; men are almost as likely to be guilty of excessive “neediness,” too. If you’re not sure what I mean when I say “needy” or “clingy,” picture a girl who chases a guy around, trying to impress him and doing all sorts of things to attract his attention. That is what it means to be clingy or needy.
Reason Two: Being Too Controlling or Jealous
This is another big reason why relationships don’t work out. Being way too controlling over your partner will actually give you less control in the end. Typically, the more controlling one partner gets, the more the other partner will try and break free. When that eventually happens, there’s almost no turning back. If you were (or are) guilty of this, learn to manage your jealousy. It’s a huge sign of insecurity, and it’s never going to actually have any benefit or positive outcome. Jealousy is a natural emotion all humans will feel. The key is controlling that jealousy rather than controlling your partner.
Reason Three: Boredom and Complacency
Both men and women have an equal desire for fun and excitement. The need for adventure and excitement varies from person to person, but no one wants to be stuck in the same boring routine forever. Every relationship needs to have some element of fun and excitement. Relationships don’t have to go skydiving every week or go to a new dating location every single day, but you do need to keep things interesting and avoid being too complacent.
Often, when the “spark” fades and a relationship stops being “new and exciting,” neither partner will make any real effort to keep things interesting, which is a huge mistake. You need to make sure that your partner is having fun and maintains their interest in you and your relationship. One must understand that even the best relationships require some maintenance and work, so if you want to live happily ever after, then both you and your better half need to put in the work to keep the spark alive and avoid falling into a boring, passionless routine.
Reason Four: Infidelity
This reason is extremely simple. If you cheat, you’re basically ruining your relationship.
Not only is infidelity a surefire ticket to being single, but it also causes fundamental trust problems. To enjoy a real, mature, and long-lasting relationship, you need to trust your partner and vice versa. Any kind of infidelity will have a negative impact on trust, and lack of trust causes insecurity and jealousy, which has been already been discussed as a relationship killer. Different people define “cheating” differently, so if you want to avoid any trust issues, make sure you both agree on what constitutes cheating, and then, stay faithful!
So, those are the four major “attraction killers.” It may have been a combination of several, or it may just have been that you did something that really rubbed your ex the wrong way.
If your goal is to get back together with your ex and start fresh, then you may be wondering whether it’s worth your time to try and fix things. Maybe you’re wondering if it’s hopeless and you should just be moving on. Whatever you do, understand that a breakup is not the end of the world. There are tons of fish in the sea, and there are other people out there for you.